Reposting because it makes me smile every year: THAT Thanksgiving letter - Instructions from Marney

A few years ago this Thanksgiving 'funny' spread to many emails, Facebooks, sites and blogs.  It's one of those humorous compilations that no one knows the actual person, but swears it's the sister of someone in their office, or their friends' sister-in-law or their Aunt or their boyfriends cousin's family... yada yada.

It brings a smile to my face when I read it and since it's time to plan for the big Thanksgiving Family Dinner...  I thought it would be fun to dig it back out for 2014 and again in 2015.   But this time, with a twist.  I actually looked up some of the product's Marney demands and linked to them.  Let's hope your sister-in-law, cousin or friend isn't quite as persnickety as the fabled Marney is in your Thanksgiving planning!

Happy Thanksgiving!

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don't feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don't care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel - please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

While most of us have seen this Thanksgiving Letter floating around the internet on one site or another since 2009-ish, I thought I would help out poor Marney's family by providing them with some links to dishes and spoons (and pie plates) I found on Amazon that should be "Marney Approved"!    All in good fun.  :)


The Mike Byron Family
2-Quart Casserole Dish with Lid
Serving Spoon (not Soup Spoon!)
Ice Cream Toppings:  Mega Sprinkle Set


The Bob Byron Family
CorningWare  Casserole Dish with Lid
Good Grips Stainless Steel Spoon
Pancetta by Beretta (14 ounce)


The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
Clear 2pc Appetizer Server with Ice Tray (Vegetable Platter)


The Michelle Bobble Family
 3-Quart Casserole with Cover
Del Duca Sliced Prosciutto
Stainless Steel Pie Server



The June Davis Family
Please see the links above under Mike and Bob's names for the regulation size casserole with lid- for the large plastic container to hold the 'back up' mashed potatoes, try this one; Rubbermaid Rectangle 24-Cup Food Storage Container


The Amy Misto Family
Deep Dish Stoneware Pumpkin Pie Dish
9 Inch Ceramic Pie Plate, Red

Unexpected - Back Soon I Hope (updated)

I'm going to be slow posting for a bit.

Life has thrown a few curve balls this week.

Thursday, my Mother had what should have been a minor surgery. 

Friday I was unfortunately in a store as it was robbed - that shook me up a bit for the rest of the day.


This morning, Sunday, my Mother was up and fine early this morning to have breakfast but after her morning dose of medications, she never woke up.  Currently is unresponsive - eyes are open but not responsive.  Brain scans and blood work being done now.

Sitting next to the phone with nervous energy... (I'm 1000 miles away) - and I guess needing to keep my fingers busy so I'm typing here... and obviously, food and recipes are the least of my thoughts.

Updated:  Possibly mini stroke. More tests. She is talking now - and responsive so there is that.
Updated:  We still believe it was a reaction to the pain medication but they are running brain scans, MR's, and test after test.
Updated:  My Mother is doing well and was released from the hospital.  The admitted that due to "miscommunication" among staff, she was overly sedated with pain medications. She has no memory of the situation other than saying "Well, that was an easy and peaceful way to die"  as she simply went to sleep - but her eyes never closed. She is home now. 




 
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Guacamole Stuffed Chicken Breasts Wrapped In Bacon

I've been meaning to get this one onto my personal recipe blog so I don't forget it - but life has just been incredibly hectic and busy.  However, my blog is my 'recipe file' and I'm afraid this dish will be forgotten (out of sight, out of mind) if I don't post it here to remind myself to make again... soon.

My last post was about a bacon, guacamole and chicken 'dip' and you can see now where I got that idea... from leftovers!  Yep, this is what I made up for dinner one night - which led to my yummy appetizer idea. 

There isn't really a recipe other than if you make your guacamole from scratch (I do).

My Homemade Guacamole

2-3 avocados (2 large, use 3 if they are on the smaller side)

1/2 onion, quartered

1/4 c diced chilies

1 heaping teaspoon minced jalapeno's

1 T cilantro or parsley (half that if you use dried)

1 T lime juice

1 large clove minced garlic (or use about 1  teaspoon pre-minced jarred style)

1/4 t salt

1 medium tomato, peeled, seeded and diced

*options;  a little chili powder or cumin if you wish!)

Slice and remove the seed from the avocados.  Scoop the flesh into a food processor bowl.  Add the onion, chilies, jalapeno, cilantro, lime and garlic and salt.  While on pulse a few times, just a few seconds each time.  Don't over process, but be sure the onion is all incorporated.  Stir in half the tomatoes, put into a serving dish, top with the remaining diced tomatoes.  Serve with tortilla chips.

Pound as many boneless, skinless chicken breasts as you wish.
Spread a layer of guacamole on each
Roll up and secure with a strip of bacon - or use two and wrap them like a gift
Bake in a preheated oven at 375 for approximately 30 minutes or until the chicken is done
If you need your bacon more golden brown and crisp, place under the broiler and broil for 2-3 minutes
If you make extra bundles, you can chop them up and add extra guacamole to make an appetizer to serve with tortilla chips.

Incredible - Chicken, Guacamole & Bacon Dip Appetizer for Tortilla Chips

This recipe can be as easy or as difficult as you want to make it.

Want the super-crazy-fast version? 
Use store bought guacamole, mix it with some diced pre-cooked or pre-grilled chicken from the frozen food department and add some store bought, packaged real bacon pieces!

A 'middle of the road' easy version?
Maybe use store bought chicken, whip up your own favorite guacamole, and use packaged bacon.

Or switch those around if you already have some leftover baked or grilled chicken from the night before, just buy a container of guacamole and cook some bacon - let it cool a bit and crumble it on top.

This 'dip' or appetizer is amazing.  The blend of chicken, guacamole and bacon is a favorite in our house and we have it in many different and various ways. This was actually my "dinner" the other night when no one else was home and I didn't have to cook for anyone but me! 

If you need a recipe for the guacamole, this is one I've posted before; My Homemade Guacamole

2-3 avocados (2 large, use 3 if they are on the smaller side)

1/2 onion, quartered

1/4 c diced chilies

1 heaping teaspoon minced jalapeno's

1 T cilantro or parsley (half that if you use dried)

1 T lime juice

1 large clove minced garlic (or use about 1  teaspoon pre-minced jarred style)

1/4 t salt

1 medium tomato, peeled, seeded and diced

Slice and remove the seed from the avocados.  Scoop the flesh into a food processor bowl.  Add the onion, chilies, jalapeno, cilantro, lime and garlic and salt.  While on pulse a few times, just a few seconds each time.  Don't over process, but be sure the onion is all incorporated.  Stir in half the tomatoes, put into a serving dish, top with the remaining diced tomatoes.  Serve with tortilla chips.

You might also be interested in these serving dishes available through Amazon;
Football Stadium Chip And Dip Sports Serving Set
Stoneware Round Chip 'N' Dip Server 12 inches
Chip Dip Set | Dipping Bowls | Set of 3 Silicone Chip Dip Bowls that Hang on the Edge of Most Chip Bowls for Salsa, Guacamole, Cheese
Chip and Dip Bowl with 2 Clip-On Side Dip Dishes
Original Cucina Italiana Ceramic 4 Section Square Serving Platter Dish Sunflower Decor

       
 

Sugar Free Rice Krispie Bars

For as amazingly good rice krispie treats are, you would think they would be harder to make, right?  There was even a commercial about that on television years ago - where the Mom pretends to slave over the treats in order to get a few minutes of quiet and time to sit and enjoy one herself. 

I've posted about rice krispie treats in the past - whether it was the original regular version, a sugar free and low carb version (yes!  LOW CARB), Peep-mallow Bar using leftover Easter candy and a few years ago you could find cinnamon marshmallows on the market so I made an incredible Cinnamon Bun version - which, they no longer make those, but you can still make the recipe by adding a half teaspoon of cinnamon to your marshmallow mixture.


Original Krispie Bar Recipe
Sugar Free and Low Carb Krispie Bars
Cinnamon Bun Rice Krispie Bars
Peep Krispie Bars

Now that our family doesn't really buy or use sugar, I like to keep these little dandies on hand....  By LaNouba, they are sugar free marshmallows that are just as good as a regular full sugar marshmallow! 


Marshmallows Sugar/Gluten Free

Nutritional Facts: Serving size 1 piece (7.5g), Calories 15.3, Fat 0g, Sodium 0.05mg, Carbohydrates 5.82g, Sugars 0g, Sugar Alcohols 5.76g, Protein 0.375g. Ingredients: Water, sweeteners (maltitol, isomalt, maltitol syrup, lactitol) gelatine, natural colors and natural flavoring (vanilla).

I do have to order mine online as I've never found them in local stores, but to have 2 packages of these on hand for last second baking or S'mores over the fire is a treat.  I will also add that I've never had digestive issues with these even though I do with many sugar free products.

Just make your regular small batch Rice Krispie Treat recipe;

2 T butter
4-5 oz. marshmallows
3 1/2 c crispy rice cereal

Put the butter and marshmallows into a large microwavable bowl and microwave until they puff up and double their size in the bowl. This takes about  1-2 minutes depending on your microwave strength.

Immediately stir in the cereal with a rubber scraper that has been sprayed with Pam style cooking oil or oiled with canola or vegetable oil. Press the mixture into a greased or sprayed loaf or 8X8" pan. As soon as they are cool, cut and serve!

I like to add a dash of vanilla to mine

Here is the butter, vanilla and marshmallows before microwaving

While in the microwave they will puff up above the bowl.

They will start to fall immediately upon removing them.

I tried to get a picture on my iphone before they fell - they are about 1/2 puffed here.

Press into a pan

Mmm. And sugar free.

Let's use up these Fall apples! Homemade applesauce and dehydrating apples to the rescue!

This is really more of a reminder post...  because it's Autumn and hello?  APPLES! 

I was at the store a couple days ago and needed to pick up more apples for my husband.  Our local store currently has small bags of apples going for $.97 a pound so I bought two bags.  A handful saved for my husband to grab on his way out the door to work, and the rest made into applesauce and dehydrated for breakfast oatmeals and snacking.

If you visit An American Housewife often, then you know I make a big batch of applesauce at least every two weeks.  It's my husbands 'late night snack' when he watches tv after I go to bed and every morning I find the empty jars in the sink.  I love it though because since it's homemade I control what goes into it - and believe me, there is ZERO ADDED SUGAR and absolutely, certainly NO CORN SYRUP.  None of the chemicals or additives in store bought applesauce obviously and why in the world they ADD SUGAR to an already sweet natural applesauce is beyond me.

My recipe for applesauce is so incredibly easy it's almost no work and involves apples... and nothing else unless you choose to add a bit of natural sweetener or cinnamon.  You can find that recipe here if you don't already have it. 

Apples ready for applesauce!

 

 Doing some dehydrating as well

Just a note about peeling the apples for dehydrating:  SAVE THEM and add them to your applesauce.  They have so many nutrients in them, and help the applesauce naturally thicken.  Just wash and peel your apples like usual, but while you throw away or compost the cores, add the peelings to your apples in the crockpot.